Yesterday I had a tragic accident (almost as tragic as the time I tore off my big toenail). I was scrubbing the kitchen floor (AKA just getting up from a nap) when I somehow tore my thumbnail down into the fleshy part. Good Gosh!!! As I rolled around on the floor, trying not to teach my children any new words, I had an epiphany.
This really is the most painful thing in the world. Really. Is there anything more tender than that area under your fingernail? I vote no.
On a somewhat related note, we FINALLY have the Brian Regan show tonight...but instead of just Vinny and I going, we are being forced to bring another "couple" along. You see, last night I got some kind of eye infection, so now my left eye is swelling shut...no really, it's beautiful. Not to be outdone, Vinny has been sick for days and came home last night sporting a monster of a cold sore.
So tonight Vinny and I will be joined by my giant, puffy, red eye and his oozing fat lip. Party crashers. Whatever. Maybe we'll be inspiration for some new comedy material.
5 comments:
Sooo funny!! I mean, I am so sorry to hear about your funknasty eye & missing nail! You'll have a blast tonight!!
Oooh, the fingernail tearing sounds horrible!! I'm sorry you guys aren't 100%, either!! At least you get to go out on a date!
I can think of some pretty tender areas after delivering a baby;)....but so funny. I love laughing at your stories, you have to be the funniest person I know. Even through your blog I can hear you tell your story! I love it!! Have fun tonight, maybe the tears of laughter will cleanse your eye!
I so wanted to come for that tonight. So sorry I missed it and your fantastic eye and fat lip. Miss you guys.
no no ... I agree. That's the worst. Oh mamma, I am SOOOOO glad you took my advice and posted again. I missed you--especially since we can't talk on the phone anymore because you're too busy. Whatever. Anyways- I'm totally jealous of your date... oh sigh. what a dream. Hey, do you remember the time I too lost a toe-nail? To fungus? How shameful. I want to hear about everything darling, so give me a jingle when you get a moment. ka-chow.
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